


The Spotlight is on Deuce

by carrotsniffs



Series: Amino Adventures [14]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: It's his spotlight, My boi Deuce, strange headcanons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-28 23:20:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11428368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carrotsniffs/pseuds/carrotsniffs
Summary: These are short weird writings about the short carapace that we all know and love.





	1. Cat Food

"Slick."

"What?"

Deuce papped his face. "Slick."

"What the hell do you want?"

"I need cash."

"For what!?"

"The good stuff."

"What?"

Deuce cupped his face and looked at him right in the face.

"THE GOOD STUFF."

Slick pushed him away, smelling it all on his breath.

"Oh god, go brush your teeth!"

"But-"

"NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY MORE."

Deuce faked his whining until he was sure Slick was gone and slipped the four dollars that was on the table into his pocket.

Little did he know, he left it there two weeks ago.  
\---  
He sighed. "Why can't the boss just support me this once?"

Boxcars stared at him.

"EY BOXY!"

Boxcars flinched by a bit. "Sorry. It's hard to focus."

"Why?"

"Because you're eating cat food and saying it's totally alright."

"WELL, ISN'T IT!?"

"No. No it isn't."

Deuce groaned and flipped the bowl of cat food all over the table and leaving.

Boxcars watched him leave, picking up one of the small cat food pellets.

He sniffed at it. Fishy smelling.

He popped it into his mouth.

It tasted like artificial goldfish.

Boxcars shrugged and continued to eat them off the table.

"These are pretty good, Deuce."

No one sat across from him.


	2. Seeking Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I swear I love him like a son

"If Slick and Droog can find love, I can too!"

HB gave him a strange look.

"What?"

"Slick and Droog are not the hopeless mess. As fer you... Nah." He waved an arm towards the shorter crewmate.

"You don't believe I can!?"

Boxcars clicked his tongue. "No."

Deuce jumped to his feet off the couch. 

"Watch me, I will!"

"Yeah sure!"

"I'm going out now!" Deuce called from the door.

"Good luck!" Boxcars chuckled.  
\--  
A creak of the door signalled Boxcars of Club's arrival home.

"Hey, Hearts!"

He looked over from the couch. Deuce had his arm wrapped a lamp's neck.

"Meet Margie."


	3. Apple Juice Heist

"Sir I can't do that."

"Why not? It's just a little."

"Because-"

"Oh, because I'm short and clearly underage. Listen here bub, that's discrimination."

"But listen-"

"Noo, YOU listen!" Deuce pointed at the "bartender". 

"I'm completely overage and I want apple juice."

"But-"

"NO BUTS. Give me the Apple juice."

The man being interrogated reached behind him, getting the arm of a co-worker.

"What am I supposed to do?" He whispered to her. "He's scaring me."

She bit her lip. "Just give him the juice box. Maybe he'll leave."

He nodded and smiled nervously at the short man. The "bartender" gave Deuce all the juice boxes from under the counter. 

Deuce took the load in arms and eyed the man very carefully. He was nervously sweating, obviously waiting for Deuce to leave. 

Clubs pranced off back to his table, spilling the load of juice boxes over the tables. 

"And that, boys, is how you get free drinks from McDonald's."

Slick rolled his eyes and shook his head, as Droog chuckled and made eyebrows at him. 

Boxcars happily indulged in the free drinks. Who was he ever to turn down a drink, especially if it's free?


End file.
